The Pepsi Challenge

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Lynn Bee

I know what you were thinking: nothing goes together better than babies and gambling. And you are totally right! That’s why I’m having a 50/50 for Pepsi’s birthdate.

For $5- you can make your bet of what day Pepsi will decide to be born.

So feel free to throw $5- at us and pick a day. If you are right, you will get half of all the monies. Pepsi will get the other half in case he needs to go to university one day.

There is also another 50/50 to pick the time of birth. No, it doesn’t have to be the exact time. For $5- you can pick an hour timeslot (ex: 3-4pm).

The actual due date as per my healthcare providers is July 15th. So there is still plenty of time to make your decision to enter either one, or both, of the 50/50 lottos.

I’ll be taking bets up until I go into labour, after that the contest is closed. But first come gets first pick! So if you are feeling especially lucky about July 9th at 3am or something you should place your bets before someone else steals your idea!

Leave a comment below if you have any questions or if you’d like to play the Pepsi 50/50 Challenge!

pepsi slogans

http://www.slideshare.net/gabriel_rl/pepsi-14113639

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Ice cream pie

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Lynn Bee

Continuing along the vein of unhealthy desserts I’m bringing you ICE CREAM PIE!

peanut-butter-oreo-ice-cream-pie-21

It is the perfect dessert to make when company comes over this summer. Really. Remember when you were a kid going to someone’s birthday party? The best part was always the cake. And if it turned out to be an ice cream cake everyone lost their freaking minds. That’s what this is. Sure, pie is nice and all. But ice cream pie totally kicks regular pie’s ass!

And it’s super simple to make. I promise, because all you need is a a bowl, a spoon, a pie crust, some ice cream, and a little cool whip. Seriously simple. Oh, and a freezer. You’ll need one of those.

First, you’ll need a litre of ice cream. Just get whatever kind is your absolute fav. I’ve had this pie with Oreo, Vanilla, Mint, Nut… etc. Whatever you like will be good. But, if it is available, I would highly recommend Macadamia Nut ice cream.

Next, get a tub of cool whip. Yuck, I know. But just get the little 8 oz tub – not a huge bucket.

Then get (or make) a pie crust. Oreo, chocolate, or graham cracker. What would taste best depends on the type of ice cream you get. But a chocolate pie crust is a safe bet to go with anything.

Do NOT use a regular pie crust. Like tenderflake or whatever – that will be gross.

Now, let the ice cream sit out for a little bit so it gets melty. When the tasty ice cream is mushy you will be able to easily mix the cool whip into it. Otherwise this will take forever and you will break your wrist.

Once the ice cream and cool whip are thoroughly mixed together you can fill the pie crust with the mixture. Don’t worry if there is extra – you can pile this thing up as high as you want. It will still work.

Now top the pie with something…. cookie crumbs, crushed up chocolate bars, chocolate sauce, caramel. I’m sure the topping you settle on will be perfect. Or no topping. This isn’t rocket science. We are not working with hard and fast rules here. You are basically making a sundae. Do anything. I used a sleeve of crushed up oreos last time I made the pie and it was deeeeeelicious. Next time I am going to try a chocolate-espresso sauce. Yum! Little cake cubes or a berry topping would also be great.

Now put the pie in the freezer for a few hours.

And there you have it. A delicious dessert that will be sure to impress (as long as your guests are not vegan, lactose intolerant, or allergic to deliciousness).

 

oreo-crust-ice-cream-pie

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Nutella brownies

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Lynn Bee

Chewy, chocolatey, and simple.

I’m bringing you another tasty 3-ingrdient recipe! Yes, three.

And it takes only 20 mins from start to finish.

Brownies are already pretty fantastic on their own – but throw some Nutella into the mix….and who wouldn’t want to sign up for that?

It’s super simple, I promise. And this is coming from someone who usually makes brownies from a box.

Ready? Here we go!

In a bowl mix together:

2 eggs (the chickens would prefer if you used free range eggs)

1 and 1/4cups nutella (delicious chocolate hazelnut spread)

1/2 cup flour (regular all-purpose flour, nothing fancy)

Mix all the ingredients together until the batter is smooth. Keep in mind working with nutella is sticky and messy – so stay focused! Now, the raw batter will smell so good you’ll want to eat it. But don’t! Because of, you know, salmonella. And also if you are gross and eat all the batter there won’t be any brownies for you to eat later. So keep your composure and pour the (uneaten) batter into a greased 8×8 pan and sort of smooth it as best you can… again, nutella can be tricky to work with.

Bake at 350 for 15 mins.

The end.

No, this is not vegan, it’s not healthy, it’s not for people with allergies. But it is damn simply and tasty. Brownies with a hint of nutty goodness.

home_brownie

Enjoy!

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For some of my other super simple recipes just click on these links!

You are just 4 ingredients away from Peanut Butter Cookies:

http://tastyturntable.com/2013/09/22/peanut-butter-4-life/

And 3 ingredients away from Pumpkin Cake:

http://tastyturntable.com/2013/09/24/pumpkin-cake/

Vodka and Gummie Bears, together at last!

http://tastyturntable.com/2013/11/02/drunk-gummies/

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Protected: All Points Bulletin: Moving on

Posted on April 2, 2014 by Lynn Bee

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In the eye of the beholder

Posted on March 19, 2014 by Lynn Bee

I have a friend who recently told me this story:

She met a guy at a bus stop and they ended up having a friendly chat for the whole ride on her way to work. As they parted ways she bid him farewell – knowing she would likely never see him again.

A few days later there was a knock at her front door and who should it turn out be but the guy from the bus.

Based solely on her first name and the location of her bus stop he had googled her, found out where she lived, and taken the initiative to turn up on her doorstep to ask her out.

To me, this screamed out insane serial killer. I mean, sure we all e-stalk people we like, but that’s a far cry from actually showing up totally uninvited on a strangers’ front porch.

So what happened next?

She amicably invited him in, agreed to go out with him, and promptly left the safety of her home to wander out into the night with this guy. Which, to me, sounds like the worst idea I have ever heard.

She didn’t even have the chance to e-stalk him back first to find out if he was a rapist or a murderer.

Even more surprising to me, her main worry lies in the fact that her home address was accessible to all on the internet. Which, though unsettling, shouldn’t be an issue if she doesn’t mind dudes using it to show up at her home to try to get into her pants.

As she told the story I expressed my horror at his brazen actions and her naivety. She responded by defending him. Saying he was just being incredibly romantic and expressing that I had simply lost faith in humanity.

….which is completely true. I tend to think all people are the worst until proven otherwise. I would have punched him in the eye and called the police so fast he wouldn’t have even had a chance to try to explain.

But that’s not the point, I’m here asking popular opinion – do you think this guy’s actions should be considered wildly romantic or wildly terrifying? I’d like to know!

Rottenecards

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Protected: Penis v. Vagina

Posted on March 7, 2014 by Lynn Bee

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Miss or Mister?

Posted on February 25, 2014 by Lynn Bee

So, the big question…. Is Pepsi a miss or a mister?

I went for my 20 week ultrasound as scheduled by my birthing clinic. At this visit I was supposed to learn if Pepsi’s spine was straight and if Pepsi decided to be a dude or a lady.

All the important stuff was good: Intact spine, lips are attached, there is a chin, normal heartbeat, 2 legs, 2 arms, 2 hands, 2 feet, 2 nostrils (who knew they could see so much in those fuzzy, grainy pictures?!), 2 eyes, 2 kidneys, a stomach, a brain, and I even saw one tiny little ear.

What else could we see? Well, Pepsi sure is extra wiggly! They had a hard time getting all the info they needed because of all the wiggling.

But they said it’s one good looking baby… not exactly sure what that means – and maybe they say that to everyone… but it sure sounded good.

All the kick kick kicking has started too – it is super gentle and I never even noticed it until yesterday – because Pepsi is mostly kicking into the placenta instead of into me (what a thoughtful baby). But there sure is a lot of it going on.

And boy or girl?!
Well, they asked if we wanted to know and then they said they would send the results to my doctor and the doctor would let me know in a few days.

What the what?!

That was such a disappointment that I checked with my midwife to see what the heck was going on.

She said they aren’t supposed to divulge the sex of the baby until 20 weeks and I won’t be 20 weeks until tomorrow. Seriously, tomorrow.

I understand the importance of rules – but that is being excessively strict, don’t you think? Especially since they are the ones that scheduled my 20 week ultrasound on the Monday instead of the Tuesday.

Yes, it is called the 20 week ultrasound. So why schedule it then? It’s not called the: 19 weeks and 6 days ultrasound. It’s not called the: get everyone excited for the big reveal and then disappoint us ultrasound. It’s the 20 week ultrasound and that’s how it was scheduled for me.

Boo-urns!

I know I’ll find out soon enough. And I know it doesn’t really matter one way or another. But still! What a bunch of technical jerks. Don’t they know I want to pick a real name and go with a proper pronoun?

At least Pepsi is all wiggly and has a bunch of arms and stuff.

And yes, I do have a new picture of Pepsi. But I’m not going to share it with you because…. gross. Who wants to see a picture of Pepsi mushing his (or her) little face into my placenta? Probably not anybody, ever.

Here’s a drawing of a naked lady and a grapefruit instead.

You’re welcome.

week20

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The Sweet Spot

Posted on February 23, 2014 by Lynn Bee

I know I haven’t been keeping you updated. Sorry. Here’s where I’m at: I’m roughly halfway done this thing and right now it is the best! I highly recommend being 4 or 5 months pregnant all the time.

Two months pregnant sucked. I felt nauseous all the time. I gagged at the thought of eating. I barfed from brushing my teeth. And I was always WAY too hot… and I don’t mean the good, sexy way. But in the gross, I-feel-dizzy-and-have-to-go-outside-for-fresh-air way. I went through mental coffee and sushi withdrawal. I was subjected to blood test after blood test after blood test (16 in all). And I had to come to terms with the crazy decision of making a person.

I have a feeling being 8 months pregnant is also going to suck a lot: I’ll be a fat giant. I’ll be way too hot again. Insomnia. Having to pee. Out of breath from standing up. Swollen feet. Having to pee. Not being able to sleep on my stomach or back.  None of my clothes fitting properly. Having to pee. Getting kicked all the time. Having to pee.

Not being pregnant sort of sucked too. Periods, PMS, cramps, bloating, worrying about getting pregnant, that painful pinch from ovulating. UGH. I don’t miss any of that AT ALL.

But 4 months pregnant? YES, PLEASE! Everything feels fine…except I always want to have a nap. Which is okay, because now I have an excuse for napping all the time. I don’t actually look too pregnant. I’m not super fat yet – but my boobs are way bigger. Score. I can eat everything, all the time. Yum, yum, yum. No one expects me to lift heavy stuff. Wheeeeee. Everyone caters to my every whim (if I ask). When I say something dumb or mean it’s attributed to hormones or “pregnancy brain”. My skin is cleared up and my hair is nice and shiny from the prenatal pills.

I no longer have any periods or gross barfing feelings AND I don’t have all the pains and aches yet. Hooray for everything!

I recently went to visit a friend who is totally anti getting pregnant. That’s how I used to be too – but while talking to her and hearing her concerns I realized all those little things I was worried about before I got knocked up actually don’t bother me at all.

People I would barely consider acquaintances pat my stomach and it doesn’t freak me out or feel invasive.

Strangers ask me really personal stuff and I don’t care. It’s as though I’m giving out informative advice – instead of feeling as though the questions are rude and intrusive.

The idea of something growing inside me doesn’t totally gross me out. It’s fine and I hardly really notice it right now.

I am coming to terms with going to the doctor non-stop. I’m actually getting good at it. I know what they are going to ask or do and it’s no big deal. And a million doctor’s appointments are a great way to get time off work.

So to sum things up: everything’s going great. Being second trimester pregnant rules. I highly recommend it. And I get to find out in 2 days if little Pepsi Supernintendo is a dude or a lady. Wheeeeeeee!

pepsi supernintendo

 

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Pepsi Supernintendo

Posted on January 5, 2014 by Lynn Bee

As you may already know – I am gonna have a little wiggly baby. And if you didn’t know… well, then… yay! Congratulations to me on my ability to have successful reproductive sex!

At this stage I’m calling it Pepsi Supernintendo. Seriously, rolls right off the tongue. Try saying it.

This name came about when we talking about maybe having a kid and my one stipulation was that I get to name it – and he was still hesitant about allowing me that honour. Seriously? My one deal breaker and he wasn’t going to give it to me. I told him not to worry because I wasn’t going to name our kid something stupid… like Pepsi Supernintendo. And there you have it. So, for now, lil Pepsi Supernintendo.

But when the time comes I will have an awesome name picked out. I am really fussy about spelling, meaning, phonetics, the whole deal so whatever the little one ends up with will be something good. And probably not Pepsi Supernintendo.

So, how’s it been? Sorta crazy right from the get go.

I will be the first to admit that this seems like a bizarre turn of events. I never thought I would have kids. Oh well, this  baby felt like getting born now. Lil Pepsi Supernintendo already knows who’s the boss.

Unfortunately – learning about biological functions is not my strong suit. It makes me feel all woozy and nauseous. I don’t care to know how bodies work – I’m just glad they seem to function properly most of the time. So I won’t be reading “What to expect when you’re expecting” or anything. Everything I learn sounds terrifying. So I’m reading nothing and trying not to get myself all worked up about all the things that might possibly go wrong during pregnancy.

I’m still sorta hoping this baby will magically get delivered by a stork – because I am fully terrified of having to give birth. Even the stories of birth that goes smoothly sounds like the most awful thing I have ever heard. I thought the easy solution was to have a C-section – but everyone tells me that’s even worse!

I know none of this is even the important stuff. I’m trying not to stress out too much by over thinking things. Crackheads, and alcoholics, and 13 year-olds have babies all the time – we’re gonna do a way better job than those people. I’m probably not going to give birth in the bathroom of a walmart or anything – so that’s a good start, right?

All know is that our baby is going to be super cute (half asian), super short (mom and dad are 10’8″ combined … maybe), and super grouchy (have you ever met either of us?).

I don’t know what else to tell ya. Except I’m not feeling super equipped for this whole endeavour. I know how to put on a diaper and how to use a defibrillator on an infant… but there are probably a few more things I am supposed to know.  And I don’t even own an AED so half my current knowledge is totally useless.

Too bad none of my siblings have babies that I could practice with. And now who is going to give me a bunch of free strollers and old baby clothes? And who is gonna teach me what to ignore and what to worry about? Luckily the daddy’s sister is a super experienced momma and she can give me alllll the tips :)

Let me just say – if anyone wants to baby sit while I shower and nap; you are totally hired. Because I am already tired just thinking about it.

Oh, and I do have a picture of Pepsi Supernintendo – but it kinda looks like an alien. And I am not going to post it here, or anywhere else. People who post their ultrasound picture on Facebook are gross. Who thinks the internet wants to see a picture of the inside of their uterus?

 

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A bloodhound

Posted on November 30, 2013 by Lynn Bee

I quit smoking (again). Yay me! Good job and kudos to my will power and resolve.

I thought my life would be all fine and dandy with improved lung capacity and a renewed sense of taste. But I forgot about a very important benefit that comes from smoking: it greatly inhibits your sense of smell. No, I’m not being ironical. When you live the city life, a powerful sense of smell can be construed as nothing other than a terrible curse.

Now that my olfactory perception is of superhero status, I feel like a freaking bloodhound.

Bloodhound on Scent

Every smell, no matter how faint, totally overwhelms me. From the ripe body odour and reek of unwashed hair from my fellow bus riders, to my boyfriend’s bad breath, to cigarette smoke, to rotting garbage, to urine, to mouldy old food. Every single  scent so pungent it is completely nauseating.

Why can’t I live in the countryside where warm breezes bring the scent of wildflowers and hay? Or sunshine and dust? Or rain and the smell of plants softly growing?

Nope. I live in a city full of sewage, trash, and sweat. At least it’s winter so the odours are constantly being washed away by the rain.

On the plus side, this new irritation means I am crazy motivated to clean (even more so). And now the dirty laundry has zero chance to pile up.

On the down side, I feel like barfing all the time and I am going through my perfume and febreeze like no tomorrow. I use so much of the stuff it’s starting to make my throat sore.

I guess it’s a small price to pay for that whole avoiding cancer of the pulmonary system thingy.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

captain nose hero!

I wonder what my next newly discovered superhero power will be?

 

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